Ten Weird Things I've Been Asked Abroad After I Say I Live in Ireland

After discussing the random things that people tell me when I say I'm Venezuelan, I realised that it works both ways, so why not gather some of the comments, questions and "pearls of wisdom" that I've been given when people abroad learn that I'm living in Dublin.
I'll include those that I heard during the process of moving here over two years ago, when I told people the good news, and I realise that the Emerald Island is not as well known as I assumed and many looked at me like I just said I'd be flying to Neverland.
I won't name names, but be sure that at least one of those came from my loving parents.

1. What will you do if you don't speak Irish?: I'll speak English like pretty much everyone else.
2. Aren't you afraid of the IRA?: They look pretty scary in Peaky Blinders, but I fear most the un-organised Venezuelan crime.
3. Now that you're in Europe, you'll get to travel by train to so many places!: This one genuinely didn't know that Ireland is an Island (#Facepalm).
4. You better watch your drinking: You better watch your drinking everywhere.
5. The weather is horrible and it rains every day, you know that?: I've seen worst and you need the rain to have the green so I'll happily put up with that (it's not as bad as I though anyway, we do get some sunny hours through the year).
6. Do you know a lot of gay people?: I've no idea, I'm not going around asking to see their membership card.
7. They film Game of Thrones in Ireland!: Yes, miles away from my house. It's still awesome.
8. Is Ireland a part of the UK?: No. Northern Ireland is, and even though they're both part of the same island, they function as two separate states.
9. Is it true that you can't get the pill?: It's prescription only, which is weird, but it's widely available.
10. Do you eat potatoes every day? I increased my potato consumption in about 500% since I moved here, but I wouldn't go as far as to say I have them "every day".

Runners up: "Hey, I saw Ireland in that movie about a girl that wants to marry a guy", "I've heard Irish funerals are the best", "Do you like Guinness?", "Have you ran into Bono?", "Have you gone to Star Wars island?",

Ireland's "Mickey Mouse" is literally a Smiling Potato Man (photo via dublinvisitorcentre.ie)

Anyhow, I've said it before, Dublin has lots in common with one of the cities I grew up in, so adapting has been a pleasure and I'm happy to translate and to answer all of people's dumb questions, as long as they come from curiosity and not from the intention of annoying or sabotaging me.

Are you in Ireland? Do your friends back home ask you random weird stuff about your new home? Or are you Irish abroad and your new friends keep guessing weird stuff about your home town?

Ten Weird Things I've Been Asked Abroad After I Say I'm Venezuelan

I've recently discussed the types of Venezuelans you'll meet abroad, and due to the fact that I've been lucky enough to travel a little bit, I've been able to stumble upon all of them here and there.
But that is about how we see each other. Now, I've noticed that it's harder to realise how others see us, mainly because most people are polite enough not to tell it to your face when it's bad.
However, sometimes curiosity brings the cat to ask the oddest stuff and I've collected a few of the questions that people have asked just after I mention one of my nationalities (I've a multiple nationality disorder, the other two being Italian and Polish, but that's another story).

1. Did you hear about the [insert latest traumatising event]: Yes, it's all over my freaking Facebook timeline.
2. Do you guys really have the prettiest girls? (said usually by guys): Depend's who's judging. We also have mannequins shaped as women with heavy plastic surgery, as seen on The New York Times.
3. Would you teach me how to dance salsa?: I wish I could, but I've the salsa dancing abilities of a potato.
4. What the ____ it's going on over there?: A bit of it all, I actually wrote a piece about it so I can share it when someone really wants to know.
5. Why are you so white? (Asked many times in several countries): Because I'm part Elf, thank-you-very-much.
6. Did you see Caracas on that Homeland episode? (said by guy at a party): I don't watch that show but I'm assuming it was super-violent and chaotic (It was).
7. Oh... You're the ones with Hugo Chavez... He died, didn't he?: Yes. He's just where he belongs now.
8. Don't you guys have lots of oil?: We do. Your point being?
9. Did you read about the dude in Caracas that lived like a rock star for a month with 100 euros? (a friend at a pub): I did, and sorry to rain on your parade but I've the feeling that was staged.
10. Oh wow! You're so far from home!: Home is at a 25 minutes walk from Dublin City Centre now.

Finally, I'll leave you with a little comic, based on the "How People View Me After I Say I'm Russian". Here's "How People View Me After I Say I'm Venezuelan".