I'll include those that I heard during the process of moving here over two years ago, when I told people the good news, and I realise that the Emerald Island is not as well known as I assumed and many looked at me like I just said I'd be flying to Neverland.
I won't name names, but be sure that at least one of those came from my loving parents.
1. What will you do if you don't speak Irish?: I'll speak English like pretty much everyone else.
2. Aren't you afraid of the IRA?: They look pretty scary in Peaky Blinders, but I fear most the un-organised Venezuelan crime.
3. Now that you're in Europe, you'll get to travel by train to so many places!: This one genuinely didn't know that Ireland is an Island (#Facepalm).
4. You better watch your drinking: You better watch your drinking everywhere.
5. The weather is horrible and it rains every day, you know that?: I've seen worst and you need the rain to have the green so I'll happily put up with that (it's not as bad as I though anyway, we do get some sunny hours through the year).
6. Do you know a lot of gay people?: I've no idea, I'm not going around asking to see their membership card.
7. They film Game of Thrones in Ireland!: Yes, miles away from my house. It's still awesome.
8. Is Ireland a part of the UK?: No. Northern Ireland is, and even though they're both part of the same island, they function as two separate states.
9. Is it true that you can't get the pill?: It's prescription only, which is weird, but it's widely available.
10. Do you eat potatoes every day? I increased my potato consumption in about 500% since I moved here, but I wouldn't go as far as to say I have them "every day".
Runners up: "Hey, I saw Ireland in that movie about a girl that wants to marry a guy", "I've heard Irish funerals are the best", "Do you like Guinness?", "Have you ran into Bono?", "Have you gone to Star Wars island?",
|Ireland's "Mickey Mouse" is literally a Smiling Potato Man (photo via dublinvisitorcentre.ie)|
Anyhow, I've said it before, Dublin has lots in common with one of the cities I grew up in, so adapting has been a pleasure and I'm happy to translate and to answer all of people's dumb questions, as long as they come from curiosity and not from the intention of annoying or sabotaging me.
Are you in Ireland? Do your friends back home ask you random weird stuff about your new home? Or are you Irish abroad and your new friends keep guessing weird stuff about your home town?