Saturday, 30 April 2016

Ten Weird Things I've Been Asked Abroad After I Say I'm Venezuelan

I've recently discussed the types of Venezuelans you'll meet abroad, and due to the fact that I've been lucky enough to travel a little bit, I've been able to stumble upon all of them here and there.
But that is about how we see each other. Now, I've noticed that it's harder to realise how others see us, mainly because most people are polite enough not to tell it to your face when it's bad.
However, sometimes curiosity brings the cat to ask the oddest stuff and I've collected a few of the questions that people have asked just after I mention one of my nationalities (I've a multiple nationality disorder, the other two being Italian and Polish, but that's another story).

1. Did you hear about the [insert latest traumatising event]: Yes, it's all over my freaking Facebook timeline.
2. Do you guys really have the prettiest girls? (said usually by guys): Depend's who's judging. We also have mannequins shaped as women with heavy plastic surgery, as seen on The New York Times.
3. Would you teach me how to dance salsa?: I wish I could, but I've the salsa dancing abilities of a potato.
4. What the ____ it's going on over there?: A bit of it all, I actually wrote a piece about it so I can share it when someone really wants to know.
5. Why are you so white? (Asked many times in several countries): Because I'm part Elf, thank-you-very-much.
6. Did you see Caracas on that Homeland episode? (said by guy at a party): I don't watch that show but I'm assuming it was super-violent and chaotic (It was).
7. Oh... You're the ones with Hugo Chavez... He died, didn't he?: Yes. He's just where he belongs now.
8. Don't you guys have lots of oil?: We do. Your point being?
9. Did you read about the dude in Caracas that lived like a rock star for a month with 100 euros? (a friend at a pub): I did, and sorry to rain on your parade but I've the feeling that was staged.
10. Oh wow! You're so far from home!: Home is at a 25 minutes walk from Dublin City Centre now.

Finally, I'll leave you with a little comic, based on the "How People View Me After I Say I'm Russian". Here's "How People View Me After I Say I'm Venezuelan".
How People View Me After I Say I'm Venezuelan

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