Wednesday, 15 July 2015

Why is everyone rushing you through life? [+Handmade Comic]

Go and listen to a song by Blink 182 called "What's my age again" and you'll hear a line that says "Nobody likes you when you're 23".
Few times a song has said something so true. You're supossed to have 5 years of experience at adulting by then, but you still have no clue.
And maybe it's because this topic of age-appropriateness is one that annoys me particularly, but I feel like since I was a baby, everyone is been trying to rush me through life.
In fact, every 5 years, since I was three years old, there's been a landmark that I'm supposed to reach and that everyone loves to ask about.


Age: 3 years.
What you know: Walking, eating, holding a very basic conversation.
What's expected of you: Counting from 1 to 10, going to a nice pre-school, learning a few words in another language, singing full songs in front of your parent's guests......

Age: 8 years.
What you know: Reading and writing, very basic maths, making sandwiches.
What's expected of you: Knowing the Multiplication Table like a poem, not crying when upset (especially if you're a "big boy now"). Some people go as far as asking if you already have a crush or a sweetheart (does Pikachu count?). 

Age: 14 years.
What you know: Anything related to primary school knowledge (and most middle-school), playing a sport, videogames, making better sandwiches, travelling by bus by yourself.
What's expected of you: That you know what career you will study, behaving "like almost a grown up" (whatever that means) and that you help around the house (especially if you are a "young lady"). Your friends will expect, on top of that, that you have a boyfriend or girlfriend (and at least French kiss each other) and that you never say anything childish in public.

Age: 18 years.
What you know: If you're lucky, the same as above, plus how to be a freshman and perhaps 6 months retail experience.
What's expected of you: That you behave like a mature adult and make your own decisions (as long as your parents agree with them).

Age: 23 years.
What you know: You're either graduating from college or have a few years of experience at working in an area of your choice (likely, you've changed jobs a few times and only have summer jobs or internship experience).
What's expected of you: That you are the most extraordinary person to ever walk the Earth. Since your parents owned half the city when they were your age (and travelled the world as well), they can't explain how you haven't "made it" if you've always been so smart (you even knew full songs when you were three). Your friends start getting married or moving abroad and they want to know when you will do the same.

Age: 28 years.
What you know: Perhaps you have a Masters Degree (congratulations!). Maybe you're married or living with someone you like and you are likely employed at something that at least pays the bills. 
What's expected of you: If you're single, guess what. If you aren't, then the audience will demand BABIES, now. Some will warn you that you're about to "miss the train" and others will list all your friends and relatives that have joined the mommy club. No worries, if you have a baby, people will remind how important it is to give him/her a brother or sister.

This is why sometimes you erase your face with make up at 13 trying to look sexy to find a boyfriend, you have a panic attack if you're 18 and haven't been kissed or get yourself a big debt to buy a fancy and expensice hand bag at 23 to appear successful (because nothing says "I made it" like holding a 1000 euros bag with a 500 euros wallet with 5 cents inside it).

And this doesn't stop. Ever. A few weeks ago I had one of those conversations where a loved one screens you for progress and I lost it.

-Why don't you just ask me when am I planing to die?
-Woah, Gaby, you don't have to be so morbid. Relax.
-Sorry, but I would be nice to be asked about my present as well.
And, to avoid closing with such a bitter conversation, let me share a little comic I made:

¿What are you going to do with your life?

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