Most people point to their own when asked to find the best country in the world. I don't think there is such thing, as every place has their strengths and weakness, but I often hear/read Venezuelans exalting ours as the top of the top (yes, despite the current crisis, as judging the country for what's been like during the last few years is like judging a person's health taking only into account that critical week they spent in intensive care after a car crash).
However, when asked why do they believe that, you'll hear them frequently mention the stunning Angel Falls, the beautiful white-sand clear-water beaches and the world's biggest oil reserves. All those things which just happened to be there before the country was even formed.
I decided to do an exercise and do a Google Image search on the "wonders" of several countries...
Here's France...
And Italy...
This is Ireland...
What's my point? Well... The last three screenshots of searches feature a mix of cultural, archaeological and historical "wonders", And it's not just something you'll find when searching European countries...
This is India...
And below, Japan...
Again, beautiful natural landscapes with iconic buildings that show their rich, interesting culture and history.
But you don't need to go so far to find more examples...
Peru seems to have a favourite wonder...
And Brazil also has an iconic image, alternating with natural sites...
Mexico also has a mix of heritage and wilderness...
Now, a Google Image search of "Venezuela wonders"...
The green, the untamed rainforest, the waterfalls, the beaches, more beaches, more waterfalls... Beautiful isn't it? I am not denying how amazing all of those are, but it'd be nice to see a cultural or historical landmark, something human-made that is worthy of getting a nod on the first page of a Google Images search, modern or ancient.
It's not like there isn't any human achievement to be proud of, the work of painters, designers, scientistsand athletes born in Venezuela is top class, Hey! Simón Bolivar features as the 72nd most influential people of the MILLENIUM according to Biography by A&E Network.
So yes, be proud (and do your bit to protect) the green and the wavy, but also show some love to the work of talented people.
It's like when someone says they love a person, and it's thanks to their lovely face and beautiful body... what about their personality and their intelligence?
This is by no means a rant, just an invitation to value the work of people too. Next time you recommend stuff to a tourist, don't only talk about the natural wonders, send them to a museum too or to a historical site. Maybe if enough people did that, the Google Image search would be different.
After discussing the random things that people tell me when I say I'm Venezuelan, I realised that it works both ways, so why not gather some of the comments, questions and "pearls of wisdom" that I've been given when people abroad learn that I'm living in Dublin.
I'll include those that I heard during the process of moving here over two years ago, when I told people the good news, and I realise that the Emerald Island is not as well known as I assumed and many looked at me like I just said I'd be flying to Neverland.
I won't name names, but be sure that at least one of those came from my loving parents.
1. What will you do if you don't speak Irish?: I'll speak English like pretty much everyone else. 2. Aren't you afraid of the IRA?: They look pretty scary in Peaky Blinders, but I fear most the un-organised Venezuelan crime. 3. Now that you're in Europe, you'll get to travel by train to so many places!: This one genuinely didn't know that Ireland is an Island (#Facepalm). 4. You better watch your drinking: You better watch your drinking everywhere. 5. The weather is horrible and it rains every day, you know that?: I've seen worst and you need the rain to have the green so I'll happily put up with that (it's not as bad as I though anyway, we do get some sunny hours through the year). 6. Do you know a lot of gay people?: I've no idea, I'm not going around asking to see their membership card. 7. They film Game of Thrones in Ireland!: Yes, miles away from my house. It's still awesome. 8. Is Ireland a part of the UK?: No. Northern Ireland is, and even though they're both part of the same island, they function as two separate states. 9. Is it true that you can't get the pill?: It's prescription only, which is weird, but it's widely available. 10. Do you eat potatoes every day? I increased my potato consumption in about 500% since I moved here, but I wouldn't go as far as to say I have them "every day".
Runners up: "Hey, I saw Ireland in that movie about a girl that wants to marry a guy", "I've heard Irish funerals are the best", "Do you like Guinness?", "Have you ran into Bono?", "Have you gone to Star Wars island?",
Ireland's "Mickey Mouse" is literally a Smiling Potato Man(photo via dublinvisitorcentre.ie)
Anyhow, I've said it before, Dublin has lots in common with one of the cities I grew up in, so adapting has been a pleasure and I'm happy to translate and to answer all of people's dumb questions, as long as they come from curiosity and not from the intention of annoying or sabotaging me.
Are you in Ireland? Do your friends back home ask you random weird stuff about your new home? Or are you Irish abroad and your new friends keep guessing weird stuff about your home town?
I've recently discussed the types of Venezuelans you'll meet abroad, and due to the fact that I've been lucky enough to travel a little bit, I've been able to stumble upon all of them here and there.
But that is about how we see each other. Now, I've noticed that it's harder to realise how others see us, mainly because most people are polite enough not to tell it to your face when it's bad.
However, sometimes curiosity brings the cat to ask the oddest stuff and I've collected a few of the questions that people have asked just after I mention one of my nationalities (I've a multiple nationality disorder, the other two being Italian and Polish, but that's another story).
1. Did you hear about the [insert latest traumatising event]: Yes, it's all over my freaking Facebook timeline. 2. Do you guys really have the prettiest girls? (said usually by guys):Depend's who's judging. We also have mannequins shaped as women with heavy plastic surgery,as seen on The New York Times. 3. Would you teach me how to dance salsa?: I wish I could, but I've the salsa dancing abilities of a potato. 4. What the ____ it's going on over there?: A bit of it all, I actually wrote a piece about it so I can share it when someone really wants to know. 5. Why are you so white? (Asked many times in several countries): Because I'm part Elf, thank-you-very-much. 6. Did you see Caracas on that Homeland episode? (said by guy at a party): I don't watch that show but I'm assuming it was super-violent and chaotic (It was). 7. Oh... You're the ones with Hugo Chavez... He died, didn't he?: Yes. He's just where he belongs now. 8. Don't you guys have lots of oil?: We do. Your point being? 9. Did you read about the dude in Caracas that lived like a rock star for a month with 100 euros? (a friend at a pub): I did, and sorry to rain on your parade but I've the feeling that was staged. 10. Oh wow! You're so far from home!: Home is at a 25 minutes walk from Dublin City Centre now.
As I was having my morning coffee and checking my Facebook on this Sunday morning, I saw a friend sharing a post which translates to "Song I Venesuela is the hit of the season in Lithuania". The image of three men with cliche South American dictador outfits made it for me, and I needed to watch.
So this is how Lithuanian pop bands dress when they try to depict Venezuelans. Via http://efectococuyo.com
In case you feel like watching it, here's the full video with English subtitles:
And as I finished watching, I thought about a few other occasions in which Venezuela (and Venezuelans) has been made fun of by international comedy. And I don't mean when something so awful that is funny (when it's not happening to you) appears in the news (like that time everyone was teasing Venezuelans about the infamous toilet paper shortage), or when our country is used as an alternative setting to North Korea or some African desert for an action movie or video game where a violent and chaotic background is needed,
I mean when things like that time when Justin Timberlake dressed as Elton John and dedicated a spoof of Lady Di's inspired song "Candle in the Wind" to the then recently deseaced Hugo Chavez.
This was for the opening speech of Saturday Night Life. For the record, when he says "everything in this song it's true", he's serious...
Speaking of Saturday Night Live, the show has a not-so-known semi-recurring Venezuelan character called Fericito, a Venezuelan comedian played by Fred Armisen (whose mother is Venezuelan so he knows what he's talking about).
See the video where the guy was introduced to the show for the first time (sometime in the late nineties):
Fericito was a nightclub comedian and hehad all the cliches of Venezuelan cheap Radio-Rochela-Style comedy, mixed with a Miamiesque-Variety-Show tackiness. The "catch line", the percussions, the stupid eyes and so on. The character was so succesful that for a while he had his own sketch called Showbiz Grande Explosion! (yes, with an exclamation mark, he's tacky like that).
But this isn't Fred Armisen's only time wearing the yellow-blue-and-red. He nailed the borderline dictador role with the infamous Parks and Recreation episode called Sister City(fifht of season two), where he plays Raul Alejandro Bastilla Pedro de Veloso de Morana (my guess this was to make fun of our tendency to have two long names followed by two long surnames, and use them all), the leader of a Venezuelan delegation sent to the town of Pawnee, because their city, Boraqua, is a Sister city to Leslie's midwest small town.
The American delegation is expecting a group of third world modest, poor, simpletons, but when they get a trio of cocky, authoritarian, loud, pen-stealer, big spender, romantic crazed, Miami loving, vain military representatives, hilarity ensues...
By the way, Fred gets an A+ for his Veneuzelan accent.
On a more local note, there was a Chilean commercial that went viral in Venezuela a few months ago because it made fun of Venezuelan president's comments about how a little bird spoke to him.
Watch and cry baby:
If you speak Spanish, you'll see that the accent is closer to a Cuban accent than to a natural Venezuelan one. I can assure you it wasn't an accident.
In a lighter and less political note, I'm gonna list a video called Signs you're Venezuelan by Venezuelan-American comedian Joanna Haufmann:
And then there is this video in College Humor of 2012's Miss Venezuela making an A-for-effort attempt to answer a final round question in Miss Universe in English. Is she nervous? Is she lost in translation? Is she crazy? we'll never know.
Do I find this stuff offensive? Not really... Actually I find it surprising when a foreign show or comedian makes fun of Venezuela, I'd say is a similar feeling to the one you get when you see your name on a can of Coke.
Do you find this offensive? Please, learn to take a joke.
If I ever find more examples, I'll update (if you have any and would like to share them, great!). And speaking about offensive jokes, just for the record, the only truly offensive ones are the ones made with hurtful intentions, even if they're the lightest and more family-friendly of them all.
So no, we're not all egocentric, salsa-dancing, guys with a thing for holding machine guns, but to be fair... imagine that a Venezuelan pop band decides to make a music video about Lithuania. Do you think it would be accurate, researched and free of cliches? Yeah right.
They say that the more things change, the more they stay the same. I bet we could check any time in history and people will think that the taxes are unfair, the next generation is useless and lazy, and the end of the year should be celebrated.
But since I can't do time travel, I'll focus now on space. As I'm celebrating my second Christmas in Ireland, I can't help to compare it to the Venezuelan way. And even though we're seven thousand kilometres appart, I feel the similarities are very strong.
So, allow me to list the 10 things we do oddly alike in Christmas...
10. We're both very early birds: Both in Ireland and in Venezuela, it's beggining to look a lot like Christmas very prematurely in the year. Back in Caracas, you could mark the unofficial start of the season in mid-September when the schools go back to class and they start preparing for the gaitas, an inter-school Christmas music competition which is serious business (think a South American Christmasy version of Pitch Perfect or Glee).
And while Ireland's high-end department store Brown Thomaslaunched their Christmas section at the end of August this year (causing a big media buzz and exposure), Venezuela's Beco was not so far behind, traditionally bringing the green, red and golden stuff at least three months before it's needed.
9. We're obsessed with snow (although we don't really see much of it): Nothing says tropical Christmas cheers like fake plastic snow on fake plastic trees. Surprisingly, we do get a tiny bit of snow in the top of Venezuela's highest mountain (Pico Bolivar) every now and then, which makes everyone in the country go mental and try to go on a hike to take a snow selfie.
Snow in Ireland is a less abnormal occurence, but it's still odd, and everyone looses it when the weather forecast predicts it (although 90% of the time it's just slushy rain that is melt by the time it hits the ground).
FYI, if you see an adult doing snow angels, throwing snowballs and building a snowman while everyone is walking normally, it's probably a Venezuelan seeing snow for the first time, and doing all the things he has watched in cartoons' Christmas specials.
Me or any Venezuelan, watching snow for the first time as an adult (Via http://www.playbuzz.com)
8. Christmas markets are a big deal: You'll find them in shopping centres, in parks, in squares... Lots of people go for handmade gifts and these are the places to get them.
Expect artisan jewlery, knitted stuff, chutneys and Chritmas cakes.
7. We drink something better than eggnog: Whether you are team Ponche Crema or team Baileys, you know that there are better creamy drinks than the egg flavoured beige thing that comes out of a milk carton. Both beverages are available all year round, but both are Christmas favourites, and even though they're brands, many people do their own homemade versions, which are actually really good.
While they have similar textures and serving sugestions, Ponche Crema's flavour is closer to condensed milk, and Baileys' is more on the nutty side.
You know what, now I need to find out what happens if I mix them... cheers.
* Similarly marketed during Christmas * Ponche Crema's alcohol is 14% and Baileys is 17% * They're popular with coffee and ice * They're very creamy * They're better than eggnog
6. We love Christmas commercials that make you cry: If it's emotionally manipulative enough to make moms cry, it will be a success. The saddest the story a commercial tells, the more chances it will go viral. Lonely old men, little children, pets... the cuter and more vulnerable, the better.
For example, Ireland was loosing its mind over the heart breaking John Lewis Christmas advert you'll find below:
And Venezuelans loose it every year since 1987 to the Plumrose add (or some variation of it), in which a little girl wants to buy honey glazed ham but it's out of stock, and the store manager stops the presses to make sure she gets a ham.
5. We prepare an extremely laborious yet delicious dinner: For Venezuelans, the dinner table consists in hallacas (big beef and pork tamales), pan de jamon (ham stuffed bread), pernil (slow cooked pork leg) and hen salad (oddly similar to coronation chicken) [by the way, now you get why the girl in the add was so upset about not having a ham for Christmas, we put it on everything].
For the Irish, Turkey, ham, stuffing, potatoes, Brussel sprouts and vegetables make the menu.
Not the best time to be a vegetarian...
And in both countries, the Christmas cake has to be there, even if no one truly likes it. It's tradition.
4. Christmas crackers Vs. Cebollitas: There is something about tiny and controlled explosions that just seems to bring smiles to peoples faces here and there. In Ireland you'll have the Christmas cracker, wich looks like a giant candy and is filled with little toys or sweets and cute messages, and which makes a "pop" when you open it. It works thanks to the effect of friction on a shock-sensitive, chemically-impregnated card strip (thanks Wikipedia).
In Venezuela, you'll have the cebollitas (among many other small and safe-ish fireworks). The name translates like little onions and it's because of their shape. They also make a small "bang" but you have to throw them to the ground or step on them. They work thanks to a very tiny amount of silver fulminate high explosive mixed with gravel and sand, tightly wrapped together, causing friction when thrown.
Now that I think about it, both countries have a few traditions that involve cheerfuly burning stuff up in public, but that's another story.
Let it pop, let it pop, let it pop ♪ ♫
3. Last minute shopping: Despite the fact that Christmas arrives early to the shops in both countries, both Irish and Venezuelans can be seen running around city centre on Christmas Eve to get that last present or the outfit for the party they'll attend in two hours.
2. Lots of Skyping with scattered family members: In countries where immigration is common, you'll always have a cousin in Australia, a sister in Spain or a childhood friend in the States. And Christmas will be a time to get in touch with them, ask them what time is it there, and, if the budget allows it, send them a little something from home (usually food).
And if you are a Venezuelan or an Irish abroad at Christmas time, you'll probably try to do a mashup of the local traditions and the ones you grew up with.
1. We are just filled with Christmas spirit: You'll get the odd Grinch here and there, but in general, most people are VERY Christmasy. Both Venezuelans and Irish sing along to Christmas songs in a non-ironic way (and many even dance to them), it is normal to see adults wearing Christmas themed stuff (no one beats the Irish and their Christmas jumpers, though), we look forward to the office Christmas party which is actually fun, we go to Christmas shows and concerts, watch Chritsmas movies, and feel all warm and fuzzy while looking at the fairy lights in the streets and houses.
It might sound a bit out there, but there are a few things here in Dublin that some how remind me a lot to Barquisimeto, the capital city of a county ("estado") in the west of Venezuela called "Lara". I lived in Barquisimeto for around five years (basically life there shaped my childhood), and in Dublin now for a bit more than a year, long enough to realize a few things about the city's personality.
1. The love for crafts: When you are in Barquisimeto, going to a craft market is a must, especially during craft fairs. People love to get hand made stuff for the house or to give as presents, whether it's knitted stuff, wood carved stuff, little paintings, pottery, etc. This enthusiasm for the local craft is very strong in Dublin as well, and they even take it here to the next level, with many lovely shops in many parts of the city selling hand made items.
2. The country taste: In both cities, dairy farms are not far from the centre and farming is a very important and influential business. This makes for posh hotels and restaurants with a very rural aesthetic, and a preference for a style a little rough around the edges. It's not uncommon for locals to go to nearby rural towns during the weekend, and the idea of a countryside holiday in a nice farm with artisan food is very trendy and valued in both cities.
3. The amount of funeral houses: I have been lucky enough to visit a few cities and just in these two have I've seen so many funeral houses on the streets. They look just like any other shop, with their sign on the door and next to your local bakery or florist. I know that (at least according to Hollywood), Irish funerals are a big deal, and the same goes for the people in Barquisimeto.
4. The graveyard as a normal part of the neighbourhood: Continuing in the same line, it is not uncommon for a graveyard in these two cities to be part of the community landscape, but, unlike other places where it's situated far from the people's houses and has a distant and lonely feel, both in Dublin and Barquisimeto, graveyards feel somehow more normal, more like a quiet place that's part of the neighbourhood.
5. The power of music: Venezuelans give to Barquisimeto the nickname of "The Music Capital of the Country", and even though Dublin is already a capital city, the fact is that they both value live music very highly. People expect to hear live music at many occasions, and a remarkably high number of people know how to play an instrument or at least sing decently. And also, even though they both are busy modern cities, they hold folk music in a very especial place, and people actually enjoy listening to it and playing it. Fun fact, Sambil Barquisimeto, a very popular shopping centre, won some major architecture awards and it's in the shape of a cuatro (Venezuelan ukelele-like national instrument).
6. The multitudinary religious festival: Both cities gather hundreds of thousands of people once a year for a world-famous religious festival. In Barquisimeto, the day is January 14 and the protagonist is "La Divina Pastora", celebrated with a procession that has counted two million people; in Dublin the day is March 17 and the honoured is Saint Patrick, with a parade that's said to be the national holiday celebrated in more countries around the world (while Dublin's festival counted around 500 thousand people, NYC's had around two million last year).
7. The obsession with traditional breakfasts: While Irish breakfast beats Venezuelan breakfast in popularity, if both were competing to determine the one that's a biggest deal to locals, it would be a tie. Barquisimetans love to have the full traditional breakfast on a Sunday, whether at home, or offered in many restaurants like "Desayuno Criollo" (creole breakfast). In both cases, it's as heavy as a lunch and then some more.
8. Big city with village vibes: Even tough they both are big cities (Barquisimeto with around one million people and Dublin with over 500 thousand), sometimes it feels like everyone knows each other and you keep bumping into people you know everywhere (I can't imagine this happening in New York, and certainly almost never in Caracas). In fact, sometimes news travel as fast as in a small town, and someone's last name is still a common way to do a mind check to search for common acquaintances (are you related to the whatever's of x-town? oh! He's my cousin's cousin!). Besides this, people actually go to city parks and squares and despite heavy traffic and busy schedules, you don't feel as stressed or rushed as in other cities.
9. The Spire and El Obelisco: There's nothing like a tall and thin uninhabited building in the middle of city centre to say "this area is important". Dubliners have the shiny Spire, Barquisimetans have El Obelisco.
10. The people's charisma: Being fun and thinking fast are parts of both cultures. In both cities, it seems like people always have the perfect expression for something, and they're often charged with a strong sense of humour. Both Dubliners and Barquisimetans LOVE stuff that rhymes, and are quick to say a quirky exclamation when surprised or feel like someone's trying to fool them. Both are known for their distinct accent (which stands out even among people from the same country) and for making witty remarks.
Well, that's it. I don't know if it's just me, but I really believe that these two cities have a lot in common.
Have you been in both? I would love to hear your thoughts on this over the comments!
Gracias a que varios lectores me sugirieron hacer una segunda parte del post de la fiesta de las páginas web(si no lo leyeron va a tener sentido de todos modos, pero si quieren pueden echarle un ojito ahora), decidí aceptar una segunda invitación a una nueva fiesta a la cual invitaron a varias páginas venezolanas (o populares a nivel local) que muchos solemos visitar.
¿La razón? Como la pasaron tan bien, decidieron hacer fiestas similares en los diferentes países del mundo.Inicialmente la idea era celebrar eligiendo el lugar en orden alfabético, pero debido a la incertidumbre actual del país, no sabían si para cuando tocara la "V" de Venezuela, todavía tendríamos Internet; además, la idea de iniciar la rumba en Afganistán no les hacía mucha gracia tampoco.
... La fiesta comenzó a las 8:00 pm y ya estaban todas las páginas internacionales antes de que llegara la primera venezolana. ... A eso de las ocho y cuarenta se apareció Monografías, quien rápidamente se sentó junto a Wikipedia para chismear y ponerse al día. Ambas se escucharon con atención y tomaron nota de las cosas que la otra decía para luego ir a repetirlas. Como Monografías era más seria, la gente le tenía más confianza, pero como Wiki era más chévere, terminaban por irse con ella. ... Al rato llegó MiPunto y se sentó con ellas a conversar, pero a la vez mandaba mensajes y saludaba a todo el mundo. ... Se sentía como si estuviera hablando con un montón de gente y aunque comentaba algunas cosas de interés, no se concentraba en un sólo asunto. .... Se acercó a la barra, pidió una Solera Azul y vio llegar a Noticias24seguida de su tía. ... La primera era más joven y simpática pero el aire estresado que cargaba en la cara era de familia, estudiaba octavo semestre de Comunicación Social en una universidad privada pero ya sabía de eso más que varios graduados, incluso se jactaba de tener miles de fans en el país. Pidió una Smirnoff y se sentó con Twitter. ..... ... ....... Globovisión, la tía de noticias24 se unió al grupo, pero no bebió, pidió un café negro como de medio litro, su bebida favorita desde que era un bebé, y cruzó las piernas moviendo el pie nerviosamente y volteando cada cierto tiempo para ver quien llegaba. Era una mujer atractiva y bien vestida, con una cadenita de oro y el pelo secado; muchas veces tenía un buen punto en su conversación, pero a veces se ponía tan intensa que nadie se la quería calar. Finalmente, justo cuando la estaba empezando a pasar bien, en una de esas varias volteadas vio justo al que esparaba no tener que ver esa noche. ... ... Aporrea pasó a su lado por la barra encendiendo un habano a suficiente distancia como para que le molestara el humo y cuando ésta se quejó, le lanzó una segunda bocanada y continuó caminando. Era una fiesta de Internet así que, al fin y al cabo, si te faltaban el respeto no había realmente con quien ir a quejarse. Luego de eso, Aporrea pidió un Whiskey fino en un vaso alto, se sentó a esperar en una mesa reservada y agitó su trago rápidamente con su dedo índice con el cual inmediatamente antes se había rascado la parte interna de la oreja. ... ... ... Mientras esperaba, pasó por su mesa un tipo que tenía rato echando chistes con Failblog, ElChigüireBipolar. Él se sentó un momento con Aporrea -también meneando el whiskeicito- y se tomó unas cuantas fotos Polaroid con su tocayo de bebida, sólo para luego dibujarles bigoticos, cachitos y demás garabatos (incluyendo humitos de mal olor). Inmediatamente después corrió a mostrárselas a todos con el propósito de burlarse de él. De nuevo, éste tampoco tuvo con quien poner la queja. Al ver aquello, Globovisión le puso el ojo y cuando estuvo sólo se acercó y le dio su tarjeta, subrayando con un bolígrafo fino su número de celular. ... ... ... Al rato entraron ElNacional y ElUniversal, ambos pensando que eran los primeros en llegar a la fiesta, y seguros de que el otro tardaría al menos media hora más. Pasaron brevemente por la mesa de Google a decir hola, al fin y al cabo, los dos eran de los más buscados por el magnate las veces que venía a venezuela a visitar a su primo google.com.ve. Aunque los dos señores eran rivales en muchos aspectos, en algunas ocasiones habían pasado tiempo juntos y para no aburrirse solos, y porque era una fiesta, se sentaron juntos y pidieron un six pack de Polar Ice. Cabe destacar que cuando saludaron a Google, Wikipedia los saludó como si los conociera desde hace años y ambos se miraron uno al otro, dudaron un segundo e hicieron como que nola conocían, lo cual produjo un minuto realmente incómodo. ... ... ... Cinex y CinesUnidos llegaron a eso de las nueve, cuando cerró el centro comercial en el que trabajaban. Estos morochos fueron directo a echar cuentos con IGN e IMDB, junto a los cuales compartieron una botella de Ron que ligaban con refresco; Cinex insistía en que quedaba mejor con Pepsi y CinesUnidos aseguraba que con Coca-Cola. Empezaron hablando de películas ganadoras de Oscars y de los grandes clásicos, pero para el quinto trago ya iban por comedias malosas y películas que comenzaban con "Una loca película de...". ... ... ... De repente llegó una mujer joven con ropa informal que venía en un mototaxi mandando mensajes de texto mientras amamantaba a su bebé; lo cual hizo que las páginas internacionales se preocuparan muchísimo: Yahoo llamó al 911 y Failblog le tomó una fotico. Pero las páginas locales ni voltearon; ya que todas conocían a SoloenVenezuela y estaban acostumbrados a ver sus locuras, que para el resto del mundo resultaba en en un estilo de vida demasiado bizarro como para ser legal. Ella se sentó con el chigüire, sacó de su cartera un sándwich envuelto en papel de aluminio y después de comérselo, le preguntó a su pana si no tenía unas moneditas por si había alguna señora en el baño que le cobrara por usar el papel sanitario. ... ... Debido a cuestiones de trabajo (sacar de vitrina todos los videojuegos divertidos menos Guitar Hero y Dance Dance Revolution), MercadoLibre llegó casi a las diez y media. Iba bien vestido aunque un poco anticuado. Buscó rápidamente a Amazon y se sentaron contentos a hablar de negocios. Ella pidió un vino blanco y él pidió lo mismo y sugirió mejor compartir una botella porque era más práctico. Cada quien pago en proporción a lo que tomó, la pasaron muy bien. ... ... ... A ellos se unió TuCarro, que venía de muy buen humor porque había vendido una docena de Corsas de dos puertas a algunos taxistas piratas, vecinos de Soloenvenezuela; también un Chevette que estaba a punto de desintegrarse a un estudiante universitario; un Aveo con sobreprecio a una señora rica, y una Pick-up medio reventada a un mecánico cincuentón. A pesar de querer pedir una cervecita fría, ordenó un 7Up, después de todo, estaba manejando y le daría a varios la cola al final de la noche. ... Como era de esperarse de un joven venezolano,OídosSucios llegó casi a la media noche y en un inico el portero no lo quiso dejar pasar alegando que estaba en franela (pero la verdad es que tenía pinta de que no iba a consumir ni gastar plata). Facebook tuvo que acercarse a la puerta a decirle que lo dejara pasar, que era un conocido suyo y que a su amigo Google no le iba a hacer chiste que dejara a un invitado por fuera. El vigilante se disculpó y dejó pasar al chamo de pelo largo que venía escuchando Viniloversus en su IPod sin pararle mucho de todos modos. ..... ... Como a las dos de la mañana, cuando ya a la fiesta le faltaba poco y algunos se estaban comenzando a ir a otro país, llegó CADIVI, quien fue directo a sentarse con Aporrea, al cual ya le estaban saliendo raíces de tanto esperarlo. Al verlo pasar, Amazon volteó los ojos ostinada y Globovisión hizo como que no lo había visto, pero sí. Noticias24 se acercó a preguntarle como estaba, pero lo hizo más por compromiso que por ganas, porque el tipo daba una materia en su universidad y era de los que les gusta raspar a todo el mundo y pedir montones de reportes, informes, ante-proyectos y además, los devolvía con cero si no cumplían con los márgenes o con el formato APA.
Finalmente llegó la "Hora Loca" momento en el que Soloenvenezuela bailó con Cigüirebipolar, Facebook se dio los besos con OídosSucios, Monografías y Globovisión se subieron a bailar en una mesa y MiPunto se desmayó de lo mucho que había tomado. Para el final de la fiesta todo el mundo estaba bailando, los gringos con los venezolanos, los periodistas, los fotógrafos, los comediantes, los políticos, los estudiantes y los estudiados; hasta MiPunto se reanimó y así todos echaron broma hasta el amanecer. Era una fiesta y como todos los venezolanos, lo que más querían era estar felices y contentos.
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